Saturday, July 9, 2016

A happy feeling.

This morning, all over this fair land, a large group of people will be waking up and feeling extra happy.
There are two reasons for this:
1) it is Saturday and
2) it is the start of the school holidays.

Everyone gains because, for two weeks, rush hour traffic will be lighter.

However there will be more teenagers in shopping malls.

But, apart form that, life will go on pretty much as usual.
Except it will be a little different for one group of people.


Saturday, June 25, 2016

Saturday Morning Live At Bin's Bass Bag.*

Bin Hire: Good morning and welcome to 'the bag'. We've turned the tables this morning and moved the show from the original bass bagging site to Bin's Bass Bag.*
But that doesn't mean no Richard (of RBB) because... please welcome Mr Bass Bagging himself, Richard (of RBB)!
[cheering and whistling]

Richard (of RBB): Thanks everyone and thanks Bin, it's great to be here.
Bin Hire: Great to have you here! Unfortunately Angry Jesus was unable to make it this morning but he recommended our next guest. Please give a big hand to Aiden Tozer!

Aiden Tozer: Thank y'all, it's great to be back on Earth and thanks to my friend Angry Jesus for making my return possible.
Bin Hire: Aiden, we've read a bit of your writing on one of our local blogs but there's a lot about you that most of our readers don't know. Maybe you could update us a bit.
Aiden Tozer: Sure Bin. I was born in 1897 and worked as an American Christian pastor, preacher, author, magazine editor, and spiritual mentor. I come from La Jose, Pennsylvania, and converted to Christianity as a teenager. I'm really a self educated man, but I was given two honorary doctoral degrees. A bloody heart attack got me in the end. That would be my only complaint with God - he should have told us in the good book not to eat too much deep fried food.
So what do you do Richard (of RBB)?
Richard (of RBB): I run a bass bagging site, much like Bin's.
Aiden Tozer: When viewed from the perspective of eternity, the most critical need of this hour may well be that the Church should be brought back from her long Babylonian captivity and
the name of God be glorified in her again as of old.
Bin Hire: Sorry, I didn't quite get that.
Aiden Tozer: Looking at the big picture, the Church on Earth needs to be freed up a bit but people really need to glorify God - more in the old way, as I sort of did.
Bin Hire: Oh, okay.
Aiden Tozer: But the God we must see is not the utilitarian God who is having such a run of
popularity today, whose chief claim to men’s attention is His ability to bring them
success in their various undertakings and who for that reason is being cajoled and
flattered by everyone who wants a favor.
Richard (of RBB): Are you saying that religion is getting a bit shallow?
Aiden Tozer: Yes. But remember that knowledge of such a Being cannot be gained by study alone. It comes by a wisdom the natural man knows nothing of, neither can know, because it is spiritually discerned. To know God is at once the easiest and the most difficult thing in the world. It is easy
because the knowledge is not won by hard mental toil, but is something freely given. As
sunlight falls free on the open field, so the knowledge of the holy God is a free gift to
men who are open to receive it. Except that if you don't accept it, you're going to burn in Hell for eternity.
Bin Hire: So what's Heaven like?
Aiden Tozer: Well Bin, being in the presence of such a Being, no pun intended, would be like a bassist talking to their favourite bass player. Knowledge of the Holy Spirit of discipline will flee deceit, and remove from thoughts that are without understanding, and will not abide when unrighteousness cometh in. This same thought is found in various sayings throughout the inspired Scriptures, the best known probably being the words of Angry Jesus, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see Dad.”
Richard (of RBB): Well, you obviously made it Aiden. Are there any celestial virgins in Heaven?
Aiden Tozer: The sex thing doesn't really happen up there but to stand in the glow of the Supreme Being is a bit like having a bonk.
Bin Hire: Is the Supreme Being a man or a lady?
Aiden Tozer: Are you asking if God the Father has a tackle? We must practice the art of long and loving meditation upon the majesty of God. This will take some effort, for the concept of majesty has all but disappeared from the human race. The focal point of man’s interest is now himself. Humanism in its various forms has displaced theology as the key to the understanding of life. When the
nineteenth-century poet Swinburne wrote, “Glory to Man in the highest! for man is the
master of things,” he gave to the modern world its new Te Deum. All this must be
reversed by a deliberate act of the will and kept so by a patient effort of the mind.
God is a Person and can be known in increasing degrees of intimate acquaintance as we
prepare our hearts for the wonder. Yes, I suppose he has a tackle. Otherwise he's be God the Mother or God the Eunuch.
Richard (of RBB): Good point Aiden.
Bin Hire: Well, I guess we'd better wrap it up there. Thanks to my two guests and have a safe trip back to Heaven Aiden.
Aiden Tozer: Thanks.
Richard (of RBB): Thanks for hosting the show Bin.

* the bass bagging site with a touch of Bahrain

Monday, June 20, 2016

The Curmudgeon, what a guy!

The Curmudgeon certainly is a laugh a minute!

Richard (of RBB) sent me this photo and I laugh hard every time I see it!

Here he goes again!

What a guy!
I wonder what it would be like living with him? You wouldn't get by without wetting your pants every now and then.

Here he is dressed as a bear.

And a duck!

Daffy Duck, which makes it even more funny!

Here he is in a Second Fiddle outfit!

And as a fat dog!

The Curmudgeon, you are a crack up!

"I know."

Sunday, June 19, 2016

A cold day in Lower Hutt.

Lower Hutt is a slightly unusual name for a city. The powers that be noticed it too and often refer to it as Hutt City.

This is not very welcoming of Upper Hutt, which I assume is not included in the lower city's name.

Google Translate tells me that TE AWA KAIRANGI means 'HUTT'. Maybe Te Awa Kairangi would have been a better name?
Maybe Upper Hutt needs a new name too?
Kura Te Awa Kairangi might work.
Or Hutt Too.