Wise thoughts from my youth.

As I get a little older I'm finding that I like to remember some of those old sayings from my childhood that were used a lot in Bahrain.
I'll quote a few...

The height is that of a Plam tree, yet the brain is that of a goat.

You can probably guess that, in Bahrain, a goat is not considered a genius.

He who cannot reach a grape calls it sour.

We like grapes back home.

Invite a goat to dinner and you will have poor conversation.

Well, it's true!

Goats are often used for comparrison in Bahrain.

Here's one more...

A goat will smile before it will laugh.

This means that humour comes in varying levels but a goat, not being the brightest, may find most jokes hard to understand.

I hope you enjoyed these words of wisdom from the old country.

See you next time.

How much is on the spoon?

Okay, so The 6 Strings thing I mentioned in my last post didn't quite work out.
Now RBB is asking us to make contributions to a sort of looser group of blogs.

I'm fine with that. In Bahrain we have a saying, a man with three goats will need to fetch more water.

I guess that's what RBB is doing now - fetching more water.

We also have a saying that says, no one gains from an over filled spoon.

The Curmudgeon Ink is an over filled spoon.
Watch out for a mess on the floor!

The new branding for our six blogs is good.

We're now known as The 6 Strings.

Cute guitar!

I'm talking about Richard's Bass Bag*, this blog, Angry Jesus, Akish The Philistine and RBB2 & 3.
I think this is going to be fun. Five of us have been away on blogging courses and I think we're ready to take blogging to another level. This is all very exciting!

Stay tuned.

* the original bass bagging site

Tree Fellers Wanted.

Richard (of RBB) told me this joke - he said it's okay for him to tell it because he's half Irish.

Two Irishmen are walking down a country road and they see a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted."
One says to the other, "Tis a pity Sean's not here, we could have gone for that job."

Well, today I did some pruning, which is almost like tree felling.

It was hot work in the 30 degree heat - well it felt like 30 degrees!

The photos don't really show how much work it was. 

Let me tell you, it was bloody hot work!

Here's something that warms my heart!

THE BASS BAGGING HEXAGRAM.

Six blogs united in a quest to bring you the best possible blogging experience.

Akish The Philistine

Angry Jesus

Bin's Bass Bag

Richard's Bass Bag*

Richard's Bass Bag 2*

Richard's Bass Bag 3*

* the original bass bagging site

* putting the number '2' back into bass bagging

* the blog that's not too bad

Fill the void 5.

THE REHEARSAL.

Suit's script had a good story but it was badly written - bad grammar and shocking spelling. He denied this was the case.
I started playing some Swedish folk songs as the rehearsal started.
Suit's drama was a fantasy about a teacher named Bassam who advises a young couple, soon to be married, on how to live a good clean life.
Suit, as well as directing, had taken the part of Bassam - the lead character and the hero of the play.
Digger was cast as Hameed and Vehicle as Jawaher, which made sense because Jawaher was the only woman character. The Bassam character had most of the dialogue.
After a short while Suit stopped the rehearsal and said that Swedish folk music was not appropriate for a drama set in Bahrain. I told him I wasn't going to play whiny Bahrain traditional music and packed up my bass.
Digger said that my playing sounded nice, but I was too pissed off at this point to listen. Vehicle tried to calm me down too. As they practised the second scene, and their attention was diverted, I slipped out with my bass.

I'm actually bloody pleased to be out of it. I'll see Vehicle tomorrow when we clean the church after the morning services - those Catholics are a dirty lot! Vehicle will probably try to talk me into coming back, but I won't.

Fill the void 4

Evolution just doesn't measure up.

We did the church clean early this morning. I washed my hands in the holy water font and then sat and read a book while Vehicle finished off. Churches should really put soap by the holy water font for cleaners.
The book is called The Absolute Wrongness Of Evolution and is written by Dr Ivan Plato.

Dr Ivan Plato

Dr Plato is a scientist who has worked at Harvard* and The University Of Fiji. In his book he disproves all atheist scientists and shows, by Erenial Time Measurement, that the world is only 718 years old (exactly). This means that there just hasn't been time for evolution, except maybe among wasps, who evolve fast. Chapter One is titled The Mozart Delusion. Dr Plato shows how music attributed to Mozart was actually written on a super computer in the 1950s. He says that people who thought they were listening to Mozart before the 1950s were actually suffering from very poisonous wasp stings. There's a chapter on J.S.Bach but I haven't read that yet.

Just three more cleans to go then it's off to the Hire Company rehearsal. I'm taking my double bass and I'm going to suggest that I play some Swedish folk songs as the play unfolds. Sort of mood music. Suit says he has written a script for us to work from. I think he'll like my idea about the music.

You can learn a little bit about the Bahrain National Theatre - HERE.


* a society based in Foxton - not the American university

Fill the void 3.

Just got an email from my brother Digger. He wants to form a traditional Bahrain theatre troupe with Vehicle and I, along with our other brother Suit.
He proposes to call it the Hire Company.
I'm not that keen but Vehicle says I should give it a go as it would be nice to have all us siblings doing something together. Maybe I could play along on the bass while they act?
Digger thinks he's in charge, but just watch our oldest brother Suit take over!
The other two are still off work and want to have a practice tomorrow afternoon.
We'll have to get our cleaning done in the morning. Lucky we're not too busy yet!
Suit said we could rehearse at his place and he'd supply traditional Bahrain coffee afterwards.

Fill the void 2.

Bit of a quiet afternoon as we have no cleaning jobs booked.
Vehicle is laying on her bed reading the Quran.
Probably best if I go out before she starts quoting stuff.
I'll head down to the Hutt River. Damn I wish I had a dog!

Dogs like walking.

Is that true? Do dogs really like walking?
I wonder if there's anything about that in the Quran?
I know that the Quran seems to approve of dogs, even though they had a reputation among some as being dirty animals.
I wonder what God would call a dog, if he had one?
God and his dog. He'd probably just call him Dog, with a capital 'D'.
Oops, I just stood in a bit of dog shit! Dirty animals!

Early start tomorrow, up at 5am. I bet that lazy jobless bugger The Curmudgeon will still be in bed!

In Bahrain all old people work, unless they're filthy rich.

I like to listen to music while I clean.

Though, to be fair, I've only worked for one day so far. Three houses.

I assume that I'll continue to like to listen to music as I clean.

We've got a church to clean tomorrow. Maybe I'll say some blasphemous things in the church? My sister won't care because it's a Catholic church. The Quran probably doesn't give a shit about what you say in a Catholic church.

We'll see. Tomorrow is another day.

Fill the void 1.

"Fill the void" is a series of posts designed to 'fill the void' until Robert comes back.

A busy day on the road today.
I'm working with my sister Vehicle. Her name is an English translation of her original name in Bahrain.

That's my sister Vehicle Hire on the left.

We did three cleans in Newtown today. Gosh people are the same. The first house we went to had a Goldie painting and so did the second. The third was owned by a retired brain surgeon who was a really nice guy and asked me a question when I said I used to be a Science teacher.
"Why did you give up Science teaching?" he asked this morning.
I told him I needed a change and that I liked working with my sister. He paid me an extra $10 for the clean.

As we drive my sister likes to quote from the Quran (it's our first day but I guess this is how it will continue). I put my headphones on when it gets too much and listen to double bass music.
Today she quoted Quran 3:19; "The Imrans"
She said, "The only true faith in God's sight is Islam."
I thought of Robert. If Vehicle is right, Robert must be wrong.
Interesting.

I'll do some double bass practice when we get back home. My sister is living with me while she waits for an arranged marriage. I'm an atheist and don't have a wife or a girlfriend.

I don't know if Atheists can get arranged marriages in this country.

I wish I had a dog to walk down by the Hutt River.

Dragons or Dinosaurs?

I've just read Robert's blog titled "Evolutionists have it wrong so why is their doctrine still being taught to little children?" - Here.

Angry Jesus seemed to like the ideas in this post and wrote - Here.

The Curmudgeon (from The Curmudgeon Inc.) entered the fray and demanded to know where Robert got his ideas from. Robert mentioned a guy called Derek Isaac.

I did a bit of research.

I think Robert might have been in fact referring to a chap named Darek Isaac.
I suspect this because Darek is into dragons and dinosaurs and this seems to fit what Robert is interested in.

So who is Darek Isaacs?

Darek Isaacs

See Darek in action - Here.

Darek is a creationist. I found another clip - Here.

Make of it what you will. I found this piece about Darek's book The Extinction of Evolution:

"The Extinction of Evolution explores what the world would be like if the theory of evolution were actually true. What it reveals will surprise you. Evolution, implemented to its logical conclusion, has severe ramifications for humankind. When one rejects the foundational truth of God and embraces Darwin’s alternative to our origins, a disastrous chain of events is triggered. As you dive deeply into this worldview of evolution, you will be exposed to the most frightening environment imaginable, where the rape, murder and exploitation of the weak are not to be punished but to be applauded. In the misguided words of Charles Darwin,let the strongest live and the weakest die. After traveling through the abyss of evolution, a miserable philosophical failure, The Extinction of Evolution brings you back to a place of hope where Christ stands above all as the Creator of this remarkable thing we call life."

I couldn't find a biography of Darek, but we do know that he is a creationist who seems to take the bible pretty literally. His thoughts about dragons, for instance, seem to come from what he discovered in the bible.

In my humble opinion this brings us back to step one - you have to believe that the bible and the christian god are true before you buy what Darek is saying.

Conclusion:
Robert, in his post, says,
"Some clever New Zealander took a sample of lava that had cooled from one of the Taupo volcanoes over a period of ten years in the 1960's and sent it off for dating.
The reply came back that it was three million years old!
In fact it was just going on 60 years!"
I guess we'd need to know more about this story:

• Who reported it?
• What was the bigger picture to this story?
• Who did both tests?
• Does this mean that all such tests are wrong?

Personally I can't get past the idea that believing in a christian god is based on faith. If the original premise is wrong, then everything that follows has no foundation. 

I think I could confidently say, "Christians have it wrong so why is their doctrine still being taught to little children?"

I look forward to your comments.

A man needs his helicopter.

Some rich guy in Herne Bay, Auckland, is upset because the local council will only let him take off from his helecopter pad three times a week. The is evidently because of the noise it creates for neighbours. The poor fellow says that, among other things, he needs the helicopter to get to golf.

Poor chap!

I heard this on the radio today as I was driving to visit an old friend who is terminally ill. 

Maybe the guy can't afford a car because he spent all his money on a helecopter?

Or maybe he's just a spoilt twat?

The Gaza Strip.

No, I'm not talking about this place.

The Gaza Strip is what I call our property in Lower Hutt. We are the only residence in our neighbourhood that doesn't have a cat. Quite a few properties have two.

These are cats.

The cats are territorial but our property is like no man's land - hence the Gaza Strip title.

Cats come here to fight and leave their mark.

Yesterday we had a heat pump fitted and the electrician needed to go under the house, where we have plastic insulation laid. When he came out his actual words were,

"Fuck there's cat piss everywhere!"

Today's job is to design and build something to block the hole.

Alternatively I could start pissing under these cats' houses until they got the message.

Looking scary.

Some people like to look scary.

Some adults like to dress up.

There are various forms of dressing up.

This guy is just out to

have a good time.

This guy probably wants to

scare the shit out of you.

Why do some grown up people want to look frightening?

These guys are trying to look scary

to win a game.

This guy is doing his best

but it's not really working.

This guy just wants a group

of kids to shut up and listen.

I saw three bikies this morning while I was out doing some recycling.
My first thought was, "These guys are adults who like to dress up."

Lower Hutt.

I moved to Lower Hutt from Bahrain when I was fourteen.
I've lived here ever since.
So why would you call a city Lower Hutt?
Obviously because there might also be a place with the same name a little north and
South Hutt somehow makes the place sound a bit rough.

The Hutt River

So where does the Hutt part of our city's name come from?
I decided to do a little research.

Here are some facts about the area:

• Petone was the site of the first formalised settlement of the New Zealand Company in 1840.
• Britannia, Wellington’s first European township, was established on the banks of the Hutt River in February 1840.
• The first immigrant ship, the Aurora, arrived 22 January 1840. Maori from the nearby pa assisted the settlers to build their homes on Pito-one Beach. These settlers established New Zealand's first bank and newspaper.

Among these first settlers were two brothers - Tony and 'Big John' Hutt.

'Big John'

Tony with his wife around 1852

It is not known how John got the name 'Big John'. He was the eldest in a family of ten siblings and probably got the name because, when they were very young, he was taller than the rest of the siblings. Tony Hutt was the third child to be born to Mr and Mrs Hutt.

Both boys were ambitious and had come to this new country in an attempt to better themselves. They were always looking for opportunities for self advancement and the story goes that the Hutt river was named after Big John as a bit of a joke. There is no existing record of why the settlers thought this was funny. 

Stokes Valley - another humurous thing near the Hutt River.

The township of Britannia was flooded (by the humerous river, but not quite so funny that day) and Tony Hutt decided to build a town of his own. Again, as a bit of a joke (boy these Hutt boys loved a joke) he added the word Lower, probably as a reference to his taller brother. 

Tony married Elisabeth Benton and stayed in Lower Hutt where he opened a bank and built a golf course. Big John moved north. He cut his own hair and inadvertently invented a new hairstyle that was to become popular in the northern part of the valley.

Big John was also the first settler to use a cart pulled by eight horses. This might be a leap of faith but one can almost imagine that cart leading to a type of car that became popular in this area many years later.

V8

Big John never named the settlement where he made his home but, probably by default, it became known as Upper Hutt. Not much is known about his later years. It seems that he liked bloke things like fast horses and sport and he might have played a bit of guitar.

Recently the council started referring to Lower Hutt as Hutt City. 

I don't know why they did this but it creates a big problem for Upper Hutt.

Should Upper Hutt now change its name?

What's the point of having an upper if there is no lower?

I'll leave you to ponder this point.

Very excited...

...to be part of the Bass Bagging Confederation!

I'm fourth from the back.

A 3rd Testament?

It wasn't long ago that Angry Jesus was talking about a 3rd testicle.

READ HERE

Now it's a 3rd Testament - an addition to The Bible.
Well this Crisp guy seems excited about the new book plan.

Maybe it needs a better name that THE THIRD TESTAMENT?
The bible writers should have thought about a trilogy before they settled on the titles Old and New.
Drum kits that have three tom toms sometimes call the small tom, medium tom and floor tom.

Would this new testament be like the small tom or the floor tom?

It might depend on whether or not it outweighed the other two on wisdon, on not.

If it turns out to be the best testament (so far), I like the name

THE FLOOR TESTAMENT.

The three legs each represent one

member of the Holy Trinity.

Who is the best god?

I know a guy called Robert who would probably say, "The one true God."
Why doesn't everyone believe in the same god?

Which of these pictures best represents 'god' to you?

Spell it out.

The kindly father who smokes too much.

Woman god with cow.

God who works out.

The Holy Trinity.

Boss God.

Okay, there are many more gods but this will give you an idea of how many you have to choose from. Or not.